Computer humor

[Tater]

Joke Of The Day:
Actual dialog of a former Wordperfect Customer Support employee:

"Wordperfect Customer Support; may I help you?"

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

"What sort of trouble?"

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

"Went away?"

"They disappeared."

"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

"How do I tell?"

"Can you see the C:\ prompt on the screen?"

"What's a sea-prompt?"

"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"

"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

"What's a monitor?"

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.

"Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

"I don't know."

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

"Yes, it is."

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

"No."

"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

"Okay, here it is."

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

"I can't reach."

"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

"No."

"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-it's because it's dark."

"Dark?"

"Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

"Well, turn on the office light then."

"I can't."

"No? Why not?"

"Because there's a power outage."

"A power... A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

"Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

"Really? Is it that bad?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."

[skeeter@ccia.com]

tater I know this is an old post but I was checking things over and lmao...you would not believe me but it reminds me of those that live behind me that I call my 'garage gremlins'...some of the things they have done is unreal and they were just here with a cd they got for their computer the other day wanting me to find out why it 'wont work'....for starters they needed an internet connection that they don't have...and i won't go into any more on that but listen to this...will make short as can...one day while at my garage changing the filter/fluid on daughters car they came over...( soon as I would open my garage door they come a runnin)...the youngest one wants to help all the time so I work with him..(a little slow but he tries)...I asked him to get me a coffee can out of the garage to put my bolts in...he did..when needed them, I reach into can and only 2 bolts were there...rest all over ground..so figured I just knocked can over..later I had to remove the pan aganin so looking for the can, I had to ask where it was..he put away in garage..so ok..he got it for me again..I put bolts inside finished job and was reaching in can for bolts but this time there was not a one in it...this time I crawled from under car and found out why...the can had no bottom on it...lmao....
once working on his bothers car in dead winter snow blowin etc..my nose was full of melting snQQ so I asked him to get me a pc of toilet paper to blow my nose on..he went home, came back with just one little square from the roll...I blew nose on ground, wiped with the square..said thanks..lmao
another time fixing something they broke on their car, I asked where they put a part they removed...in the trunk..so ok, get for me please...they had to go to the house get keys..open trunk for part...I installed it and asked where the other part was...in trunk..so I asked to get it out too...they had to go home again, get the keys again..open trunk....lmao....and my wife wonders why I have all the hair scratched from my head....I love them guys and mess with them all the time...guess kind of like a dad to them since theirs passed a while ago...ages are 35, 40, 50...now you want to hear about the time I took them fishing?...is one of the funniest times ever had to erie....but...there are real people out there like the one in your story..and they live out back of my house...lmao