A True Southerner

[Lilred]

Ya'll Yankees might learn a lil somethin ;)




Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption.

Nobody but a true Southerner knows how many fish make up a mess.

A true Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of yonderways.

A true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is - as in "Going to town, be back directly."

Even true Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.

All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is.

True Southerners know instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold 'tater salad. (If the trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add some hot biscuits and "nanner puddin'.)

True Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "pert' near" and "a right far piece."

True Southerners both know and understand the differences between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

True Southerners know that "fixin" can be used both as a noun, verb and adverb.

[Aim to maim]

Originally posted by Lilred
Ya'll Yankees might learn a lil somethin ;)



Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption.

True Southerners know instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold 'tater salad. (If the trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add some hot biscuits and "nanner puddin'.)






That same Southerner would also know that one THROWS a regular fit, PITCHES a hissie fit and HAS a conniption.

'nanner puddin, A potent substance with miraculous powers. I do miss it so.

[Steverino]

Ya know LilRed,

I was certain that I'd see something about barbeque, cobbler, and gun racks in vehicles along with a good ol' fashioned church revival (which all good Southerners know turns into a gun swap meet either in the church community areas or right out in the ol parking lot!;) )

Did we mention "Up a piece, yonder"?

[Gunslingergirl]

What about sweet tea? We have a guy from Alabama who works for us, and he swears no one who was born in the North can make it properly.

GSG

[GoodOlBoy]

And we also know that in the south all soda waters er referred to as Coke. As in

"What kinda Coke ya'll want?"
"I'll take a Dr. Pepper."

GoodOlBoy

[skeet]

Well heck GSG...out here in Wyoming they don't even know what sweet tea is...much less how to make it. BY the way..no kinda tea is made with instant tea. Heck a lot of Yankees(gotta say it with a sneer in it) don't even know what" y'all" means. Heck most yankees is sorry that they "won the war of northern aggression". We ain't gonna let 'em win the nex time..are we lilred??

[Tall Shadow]

More proof that I was right when I told my mom, that I was sure that I was switched at birth, adopted, or a Divine conception (Ya, right!)

I've always felt out of place, here "Up-north". I'd always wondered why until I made my first journey "Down South".

It was clear at once that These were My people. That surely I'd been forcibly removed from them by mistake or devilish intention.

I can only hope to "Return" someday...back "Home".

Tall Shadow

[Gunslingergirl]

I haven't had a lesson in the proper making of sweet tea yet. I keep asking for one, but so far no dice.

I actually say Y'all and I'm a Michigander born and bred. I do pick up regional accents really fast though. Put me in a room with someone with a Southern accent and I'll start sounding like I was born in the South.

Still don't like grits though.

GSG

[GoodOlBoy]

Grits is an acquired taste. Ya don't truely appreciate them until ya have had them on a feb morning in a pier and beam house with a wood burnin stove and no central heat and there is plenty of cathead biscuts, fried squirrel, doodlum gravy, and sorgum or cane syrup.

Its kinda like Texas chili, Creek Taters, friend catfish, and a wieny roast. Ya may not understand em the first time ya have em, but it aint long for ya go ta cravin em.

GoodOlBoy

[GoodOlBoy]

oops forgot to add the home made muscadine jelly!

GoodOlBoy

[Gunslingergirl]

What the heck is a muscadine?

GSG

[skeet]

It is a variety of grape...also used for a type of drink that has a little more bite to it. I even used to go pick some wild grapes to make jelly with. UM Umm good stuff. and wild blueberries raspberries and them ol dew berries(ground vine types of blackberries) My wife and a friend picked a bunch of Choke cherries and made a batch of syrup with 'em. Good too.

[Gunslingergirl]

Ok, I guess I did know that. Just couldn't place the name.

Thanks.

Now, what are Creek Taters.

You've got to educate us Northerners you know. :D

GSG

[Skinny Shooter]

Originally posted by Gunslingergirl
Now, what are Creek Taters.

Real wet road apples... :confused: :D

[BILLY D.]

That good huh? YUCK!!!

[Lilred]

Skeet.....heyalll nawww...they aint winnin the next time! Yankees got some learnin ta do ;)

Tea...catnip tea..green leaf...or sassafrass...stick a bag of it in water and let it sit on a tin roof fer a day in the summer...now THAT is a pitcher of tea. Dam straight.
Ya'll aint had nary a breakfast till ya have some redeye gravy, grits, brown eggs and biskits. Good lordy...a Sunday favorite round this house.
A friend of mine has been comin down durin the spring from vermont every year. I trade him a spring gobbler hunt and a few days of big eatin fer a jug of syrup. I done convinced him that certain words are acceptable in a northern volcabulary...although he claims to git some strange looks when he goes home...lol

The funniest thing I ever saw from them michiganders is their directions. Turn west on such and such...south on whatchamacallit so forth and so on. Ya'll caint do that once ya hit the mason dixon line and fer god's sake dont trust nobody down here that tells ya to go in any direction cause they'll probaly be wrong. I know I am. I caint do it. No matter how hard I try....my hubby is from up yonder...and he laughs at me all the time fer that. Please pay close attention to the landmarks ya'll...cause iffin ya dont...yer perty much screwed...lol

If any of ya'll are down this a way...just stop on in...be glad to cook ya'll up a hot meal and pick a tune er two.:D

[Gunslingergirl]

I flunk the direction test. I navigate solely by landmarks. Someone tells me go south here, and then go east, and I'll never get to where I'm going. Tell me turn at the red barn and then drive until you see the water tower and I'm all right.

GSG

[GoodOlBoy]

When it comes to directions I got em in spades. Heck when I was a kid it was soon discovered than without a light on the blackest night ya ever saw I could find north (er any other direction) without blinkin. Made me REAL popular on coon hunts since most coon hunters have about the same amount of sense of direction as a ferret in a room full o diamonds has concentration. . . . Imagine being six years old and getting to stay up till dawn most every weekend. . . . .

ANYWAY

First off Lilred mentioned brown eggs. . . . Are there any other kind? Seriously I won't eat a white hulled egg.

Secondly DEFFINITION TIME - Creek Taters - The creek tater was an invention towards the later part of the last century by a special breed of coonass known as the East Texas coonass. The nomdeplum comes from the tendency of creek taters to be cooked upon the banks of a creek or river during the heavy spring catfish season. creek tater recipies are fairly wide an varied, although those of the same surname tend to use very simliar variations of the process. An example as follows

1 cast iron skillet on an open flame.
add lard, cleaned and sliced taters, chopped onion, salt, garlic, and bell pepper a cup of creek water then cook until the taters are softened.

This particular meal is only suitable when eaten from a paper or enameled metal plate using a tin or plastic fork, or a pocket knife.

Some variations add cayenne pepper or jalapeno pepper as well, however the influx of marriage to yankees and other undesireables within the East Texas coonass clans has caused this to be a less and less frequent occurance.

GoodOlBoy

[Gunslingergirl]

That creek tater recipe doesn't sound half bad

I may take exception to being called an undesireable though. :)

I had no choice where I was born, it was all my parent's fault. :D

GSG

[skeet]

First off...are you a displaced yankee er somthin?? It ain't CREEK taters...it's crick taters. Heck only a yankee calls a crick creek!! I'm just messin with ya GOB... I wouldn't call nobody a yankee lessen they was one. In fact after all the time I was guiding them goose hunters I found out some a them yankees were ok people. Fact is though that a lot of the northerners I took huntin couldn't leave work alone...but almost all the southern boys(and gals) was out to have a good time and leave werk waaayyyy behind 'em. Different mindset in my opinion.
An Brown eggs surely do taste better..heck we had some kinda chicken before we moved out here that laid green eggs...and they were ok too. Only way a white egg can have a good flavor is if'n they come from (real) free ranging chickens. Heck our ol chickens cleaned up the bugs around the farm back east. We didn't hardly have any ticks er crickets and grasshoppers just didn't have a chance.
I must admit though and I know it ain't hardly right...but I really never liked grits too awful much..but I do like hominy right fair and don't forget good ol scrapple mmmm!

[Gunslingergirl]

Northerners can't leave work alone.

Yup, definitely a northerner. :D

Skeet, I will refer to them as crick taters from now on.

Got to ask though, what the heck is scrapple? I've heard that somewhere but can't place what exactly it is.

GSG

[skeet]

Scrapple is a meat product made from scraps of meat that are collected while cutting up a hog. It is then cooked in a large pot along with some corn meal and a bunch of spices. Then ya pour the whole concoction into a pan(bread pan or such) and after it cools it will be in the form of a loaf. take it out of the form and wrap it up and into the freezer except for the one ya just gotta eat. Fry it up and have some BROWN eggs and some homemade black raspberry jelly on toast. mmmm-ummm-mmmm. Some homefries cooked up in some of the lard ya made when cuttin up that ol hog and ya really gotta go lay down for a while. Still have my old lard pot that belonged to (at least) my great great aunt. Still using her recipe for scrapple too. She gave her recipe to a company that still uses her recipe in the commercial market..after over a 100 yrs. I gave the recipe to a slaughter house/meat market not far from where i lived. They've been using it for at least 10 yrs. Only scrapple recipe they use. Think I'm gonna have to raise me a couple of hogs next year!!

[Gunslingergirl]

Guess that might be one you just have to taste.

Thanks for the info though. I thought it was something like that.

GSG

[GoodOlBoy]

Yup we had some green and some blue egg layers when I was a kid. Not too bad. We also ate quite a few quail eggs from the quail my great grandad raised (amonst alot of other things)

GoodOlBoy

[Tall Shadow]

Originally posted by Gunslingergirl
That creek tater recipe doesn't sound half bad

I may take exception to being called an undesireable though. :)

I had no choice where I was born, it was all my parent's fault. :D

GSG

+1 on Being called the "Y" word...I know quite a few from around these parts....And I sure as heck ain't one of "Them"!

I come from a long line of backwoods people from the other side of Our northern border(Canada), Southern border from us here in Detroit. I know that at least a few of My kin, were some of the original seed stock for the Cajuns down in L.A.

Tall Shadow

ETA:
seep=Water flowing out of the ground, but small. Runs in to a crick.
crick=Smallish creek. Runs into a creek.
Creek=Bigger version of a crick. Runs in to a stream.
Stream=Bigger version of creek. Runs in to a river.
River=Bigger version of a stream. Runs into Lake or Ocean.

[Lilred]

Hey tall shadow...are you one of them folks that says...

about...says "aboot" Lilred says it...a-baw-ort

michigan folks says jeez-o-petes all the time...it's hilarious to hear em say that! Yall gotta practice ya'lls "great day"

Ya say it like this here" gr-ayyyyy-it day!!"

[Tall Shadow]

Originally posted by Lilred
Hey tall shadow...are you one of them folks that says...

about...says "aboot" Lilred says it...a-baw-ort

michigan folks says jeez-o-petes all the time...it's hilarious to hear em say that! Yall gotta practice ya'lls "great day"

Ya say it like this here" gr-ayyyyy-it day!!"

HAHAHAHA! :D ;)

No, Lilred... I'm not that full blooded Canadian/yoop-er (Pronounced: "Yoou-per"=Person from Michigan's UPer Peninsula...AKA "Da Great White Nort! eh'!")

But my maternal Grandmother was. She was a VERY PROUD naturalized citizen (From a little town, up near Montreal Canada) She was full of "Hoo Aboot That, eh'?" or "How are ya, besides what ails ya?" or the classic
"I brought it, I'll park it!" When ever we youngins' ( ;) ) asked if she needed any help getting up, down, or around.

One Hell of a woman. Raised 3 kids + Many of their friends + Borders + was a Head nurse + played the church organ at 5 masses a day and several more on weekends, as a single mother, all through the great depression and for 41+ years at the same church. You didn't give Grandma any sass! ;)

I do say "jeez-o-petes" all the time, as I'm trying to be a good boy (44yrs young) like my folks raised me to be, and not swear........as much! :p ;)

Thanks for the good memories & a good chuckle!

Tall Shadow

[Gunslingergirl]

Just for the record, I've never said jeez-o-petes in my life. I did say "suger jets" when I was a little kid, but only because that was the phrase my parents used when they didn't want to swear in front of us.

I do say y'all occasionally, but I imagine I don't say it properly.

Also, just for the record, I've never said "'eh", but I live below the Bridge, so that might be the reason why.

GSG

[Lilred]

That's funny tall shadow...now...here's another one fer ya.....who in tarnation is Pete?:rolleyes:

The other thing I noticed is that northerners aint got no sayins...like " He aint got the common sense god give a good rock." Or do ya'll have some that I aint heared fore?

[skeet]

You sure be right Lilred..Sayins are a real part of life..Things like "useless as tits on a boar hog". In the southern sayins book where it says. Useless as tits on a boar hog...they got a picture of the PETA headquarters...oh and don't fergit U P S...useless piece o' ***t...unless it's more'n one..then it means Useless pile o' ***t...as in "Congress is a useless pile o' ***t" an "Senator Stealth is a useless piece o' ***t". An don't fergit..." dumb as a stick"an y'all know who that is...cause we all either know somebody er got a relative that is "dumb as a stick"..even if we don't want to admit it. Used like this "sometimes Skeet is dumb as a stick":D which mus be true cause even I said it!:eek:

[Tall Shadow]

Some of them that My kid addled brain can remember.....

For describing "Smarts":
"That boy is as sharp as a bowling ball."
" Dumb as a box of hammers."
"Smart as a fence post."
"I'd say he's as dumb as________, but I wouldn't want to insult the __________!" (IE: a retarded Cow...I'd say he was dumb as a retarded cow, but I wouldn't want to insult the cow!)

On the weather:
"I'd tell you how cold it is out, but my brain is to frozen to function!"
"It's so cold......" followed buy any one of thousands of "Cold" jokes.

"It's so windy, I saw the same hen lay an egg three times!"

Done with your thumbs under your underarms,and with the accent like the "Old new england" farmer..."Might rain today!" Only to be said while standing in a HUGE downpour.....Our weather forecasters leave much to be desired.

"It's not the heat, it's the humidity!" Only done when the temperature is 100/150 (100 degrees, with 150% humidity ;) ), or what we like to call spring/summer/fall....just before it goes back to -20 degrees for the other 9 months of the year.

"We might get a light dusting of snow." Said just before the latest record setting snowfall of the past 150 years.

"We will get 1 to 5 feet of snow." Said just before a record setting 75 degree heat wave in the middle of February.

For marriage/relationships :

"Are you married, or happy?"
"You know, they say married men live longer...Yes, It's a S-L-O-W painfully death."
"Make sure that you keep the receipt handy!" Said to someone who is entering into a foolish/doomed marriage, about the wedding gifts.
"I've been trying to get a new _________ for my Wife, but no one will make the trade."


I know many, many more. But I think I'll stop there.....

Tall Shadow

[GoodOlBoy]

An Lemme ask ya this since WHEN do ya hafta qualify "He ain't got sense enough ta pour piss outa a boot"???

Ya don't hafta add "with instructions written on the bottom!" Or if'n ya do then the person yer talkin to must be a REAL goober. . . .

GoodOlBoy

[Valigator]

Dont forget the "fried green tomatoes"