End of the Year Contest
 

Well, the board's been a tad slow. Maybe everybody's doing Holiday stuff, maybe some are a bit leery of all the new spamembers we've been getting. Whatever...

Here's a little contest to get a little interest going. There will be one prize, awarded by the only judge (me) for the funniest and hopefully original line. Prize is one copy of the Computer game "Varmint Hunter," new and unopened.

For your entry, come up with a line to describe somebody who isn't all there, as in:

She's a brick shy of a truckload.

That boy's a chicken leg short of a picnic.

You get the idea (unless you are a slice of bread shy of a sandwich!)

Contest ends with the last post on Dec 31st.

Hmmmm....

Several years ago, I was working at a small company, and one of the employees was a young lady, very large chested, with the IQ of glue. One day, in front of the owner's wife and myself, she terribly mishandled a customer situation. Boss's wife looked at me, shook her head, and said...

"It's a pity that just a little more of that couldn't have come out as brains."

How about "A couple of fries short of a Happy Meal" !!!!!!

His elevator goes all the way to the top, but nobody gets off...:p

What yote said made me think of McDonalds
 

Y'all know about McD's...You know, " where you can wait for 20 minutes to get "fast" almost edible food??"

People in the construction trades would say "half a bubble out of plumb."

How about 'A couple Bits short of a Byte'

His enchalada ain't wrapped tight.
Dan

Good Lord I got a ton of these...
Ya'll done probaly heard most of em already...here's one you might not have heard....
He got about as much sense as a ridgerunner runnin shine in New York City in a flatbed pickup truck.
:D

The porch light is on but whether or not anybody is home is questionable.
I've always liked that one

Sorry to say the guys all shell casing, no bullet or the powder to push it!

Man, he's full of crap up to his eyebrows and the rest is toilet paper.

Electricians might say, "He's 180 degrees out of phase."

Aviators know of people whose "Maximum airspeed and stalling speed are the same."

It's an oldy but goody and I find myself using it to describe more folks than I care to; :rolleyes:

"They're not the sharpest tool in the shed."

Not sure if it was first uttered by Foghorn Leghorn or not, but how about "That boy's about as sharp as a mashed potato sandwich"?

That boys all foam and no beer... :D

I was gonna enter this contest, but, I'm not the shiniest penny in the roll........
:D

...Dain Bramaged..

Talon:cool:

Is them your legs or are you ridin a chicken?

PUNT......

He certainly isn't "The brightest bulb on the string now is he?"

The poor boy, he aint got sense enough to pour piss outa a boot. . . . bless his heart.

Few bricks shy of a load. . .

Ain't playin with a full deck. . . .

GoodOlBoy

"not the sharpest knife in the drawer"
"not the brightest bulb in the chandelier"

You're about as smart as bait.

And lemme tell you, that Varmint Hunter is addictive if a guy's got time to play it!

Lots of gooduns so far, folks. But remember, there are points for originality!

Don't be a niblick shy of a set of clubs, come up with a new one.

"The guy's about 8 clicks shy of being zeroed in."

OK, I have a few of these:

Full throttle, dry tank. or Gasoline engine, diesel fuel.

Lamborghini chassis, moped engine.

Goalie for the dart team.

The space between his ears powers vacuum pumps.

Has six beers, but lacks the little plastic thing to hold them together.

If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.

His jogging trail doesn’t go all the way around the lake.

Renewable energy source for hot air balloons.

Knows Atlanta like the back of her hand, but she’s in Chicago.

A few togas short of an orgy.

A couplet short of a sonnet.

Couldn't write dialog for a porno flick.

Enough sawdust between the ears to bed an elephant.

Forgot to pay his brain bill.

Useful as a kick stand on a horse.

Uses his head to keep the rain out of his neck.

Mind like a steel trap: Things wander in and get mangled.

Music by Mozart, choreography by Kramer.

Ok, this one's not original, but I saw it on Google today (on my Google Customized Homepage) under Original Quotes, and couldn't resist:

A husband is like a fire, he goes out when unattended.

(Evan Esar said this... never heard of him though)

A grain shy of minimum.........

Dumber than a dropped rock.

Nervous as a Nazi in Nazareth.

He ain't slow, he ain't fast, he's half-fast...

Dumber than a bag of hammers...

Bright as a total eclipse...

Sharp as a garden hoe...

His IQ matches his shoe size...

As smart as a bus full of blondes...

As stupid as dirt...

Thinking with the wrong head again...

One bottle short of a six-pack...

Like talking to a stone wall...

His IQ and his normal body temperature are the same number.

"He's as messed up as a soup sandwich"

NOT ORIGINAL- ? BURT REYNOLDS MOVIE????

" BEST PART OF YOU RAN DOWN YOUR MOMMA'S LEG"

OLD VIET NAM PILOT 10 CODES

10-69 BEGGING YOUR PARDON SIR YOU HAVE ME CONFUSED WITH SOMEONE WHO GIVES A S**T

AK, just one comma would make quite a difference in your sig line:

POPE, AND YOUNG OFFICIAL MEASURER

So exactly how tall is the pope? Or a young official? :confused:

:D

Sorry... just seemed like too good a line to pass up.

Back to the contest:

Room temperature IQ

Has the IQ of glue

Good thing he only has two legs, because he doesn't have the brains to run four.

Dumb enough to show up for the sheepherder's sharpshooter contest dressed as a coyote

Can't fart because the vacuum in his head pulls everything the other way

Outsmarted by sheep (only makes sense if you have spent time on a farm with sheep... turkeys are the only dumber domestic animal I can think of)

Went to a stupid contest, and came in first... and third.

Here's one fer ya....he's got about as much sense as TD thinkin he's gonna win the sexiest man on hunchat contest with his graduation pic :p

He's about as useful as an ignition swith on a shovel

Your about as helpful as a tree stand on ADAK island.