Here's one for you, Val!
 

YOU HAVE TO GIVE HER CREDIT FOR TRYING...

A supermodel was vacationing in Louisiana. She wanted a pair of
alligator shoes, but would not pay the prices asked by local vendors.
Eventually, she told a merchant, "I'll just go out and catch my own
alligator!" Later, the shopkeeper spotted the supermodel standing waist
deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, a nine-foot alligator
approached her. She killed the creature and hauled it to the bank.
Nearby were several more dead alligators, all on their backs. The
shopkeeper was amazed. The supermodel flipped the alligator over.
She shouted angrily, "Darn it, this one isn't wearing shoes either!"