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I don't know that you could get to wound up on the child. While he's getting to the age to accept this responsibility IMO it's a habitual thing. Do you call him if you're apart to let him know you're breaking a regular pattern ie you normally get home at 5pm but today you have a couple of errands which will cause you to be home at 6pm instead? Do you call your spouse and let her know and does she share that info with the child? Training, repetition, consistancy and being a role model.
My daughter is a 13 yr old work in progress ... wish me luck.
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