[fabsroman]

Larry,

Sorry to hear about your loss, and while I agree with you, I also disagree.

About 4 years ago, I was dating this woman that believed in telling people that you love them. My dad and I are best friends, but she thought I was tough on my dad. Yeah, my family is pretty tough on one another, but we are really close. We still go over my parents every Sunday for dinner. Anyway, to give you an example of how my dad is, I once got a 97 on a cost accounting exam in college and when I told him what I got, he asked me what happened to the other 3 points. So, on the next exam I got lucky and got a 100. When I told him that score, he asked me if there was any extra credit. However, when I brought home a 3.8 gpa one fall semester, I vividly remember my dad sitting down with us for the New Year's toast and going around the table saying how he felt about everybody's accomplishments over that year. The only thing he had to say about me was that he was very pleased with me. On the converse, my sister graduated undergrad and got a job with Arthur Andersen a year before l graduated law school. That winter, while loading up the truck to go hunting, my uncle said to my dad, "You must be very proud of Fabs." My dad responded with, I am very proud of my daughter (i.e., my sister)." That really hurt. About 6 months later, my sister told my dad that he had nothing to offer her and an argument or two later, they didn't speak for 3 years.

The other night, my wife got a pretty decent paper cut on thumb and was complaining to my brother about it. My brother made so much fun of her that night.

Anyway, the woman I was dating 4 years ago made me tell my dad "I love you" over the phone and it was completely awkward. On top of that, my dad was wondering if there was anything wrong with me (i.e., I was dying). Meanwhile, this woman kept telling me that she loved me even while she was cheating on me and scheming to break up with me. Mind you, we were engaged at the time.

Personally, I believe that actions speak louder than words, especially in a society where lying is becoming the norm. I spend a lot of time with my family. Some more than others, but we rarely ever say we love one another. It just isn't the way we were brought up.