Dear American citizens,
Here is the top 5 reasons you should elect me, Lilred, as yer next President of these here U.S of A states.
1. The first day of deer huntin shall be a federal holiday. We shall consider the day as holy as the sabbath to the Good Lord.
2. "We will kick all ya'lls asses!" will be replacing the E pluribus unum on every paper dollar and inscribed on every coin.
3. I will a build a 1/2 mile moat around our borders. This moat will be as perty as an oasis on the Sahara....yet it shall be filled with alligators, 2 of every poisonous snake known to man, a hill of fire ants every 8 feet apart and all it's vegetation shall be filled with ticks, chiggers and bees.
4. Recipients of any financial aid (welfare, medicaid etc) shall have a toe cut off very year they draw the money with the exception of veterans and any applicant 20 years of age or older that provides proof of employment from the time they was 18 till the day of the application. If they attended college, they are disqualified, as they got enough sense to hold down their own job. Illegal immigrants found drawin federal money will have 2 toes cut off and sent to the moat.
5. Any person found guilty of killin a person is sentenced to death. Any person killin a child under the age of 18 shall be noosed on horseback and hung.
I hope that ya'll will vote fer me come next election!!
Sincerely,
Lilred
