OK ya'll...picture this:
It's Sunday...a day of rest and a day to slow down & smell the chittlins. Then...like a one-legged hen in a foxhole...yer day is perty much screwed. What in tarnation could mess up a beautimous Sunday???
A good ole, shoot-yerself-in-the-foot trip to Wal Mart.
In I go...I dont need much...just the basics...coffee, bread, mt dew..ya know...the normal crap...I'll be out in no time.
So ya haul freight down the drink aisle gittin some mt dews...and like a buy one git one free sale at the hohouse....theres a whole slew of people standin there. Not just any people either. Them's...well...to be polite...wide people. So I proceed to hit the brakes to keep the cart from permenantly brandin a checkerboard to their arsh.
What do they do???
......................
They stand there...and keep yackin......and yackin.....and yackin. Meanwhile I'm tryin to massage out the checkerboard brandin in my arshe the fool behind me give me...and tryin to git them fools in front to move.
They still stand there. WTF!? I look behind me...now I'm blocked in by everybody else. Fer God's sake...all I want is a mtn dew!
Bein hardheaded has it's advantages tho...so...l say "Excuse me please...." That done me bout as much good as a one legged man in a butt whoopin contest. They look at me like I was Hitler's sister...and they keep on talkin.
So I tell myself..."Self, leave the cart and git the drinks..they're just on the other side of em." So...I walk over there...I git the Hitler's sister look again..and they still stand there!! Why do they have to take up the whole friggin aisle? Why caint the scoot over in a line and yack? Do they not realize that other people are there? Of course they do..just dont dont care.
After cussin a few minutes..I regain control. Let's think this through. Ding! I got it!
So... fer all of you who fight every time ya go in the Wal-Mart just ta git down the aisles...here's how ya act in that situation.
Ya git behind the cart...start singin Eastbound and down...and pull a Bo Duke on em. And the next time you see somebody in the Wal Mart rubbin their arshe w/ lil squares all over it...you can bet that Lilred is in there somewhere!
