[fabsroman]

That wasn't taken the wrong way.

"For now, I want them here. Not raised by some crazed freak of a kidnapper. "

I think we can all agree with that statement. What you and I will continue to disagree on is whether the kidnapper should get 15 to life in prison or the death sentence. Now, if it turns out that he is a kidnapper and child molester, I think we both agree that he should receive the death sentence. We are not that far apart.

What I posted above was to let you know that your boys will never leave you if you raise them right. My dad was probably a lot like you. His dad was tough on him and his dad didn't spend much time with them (i.e., my dad, his brother and sister). My dad made it a point to come to nearly every soccer game and bike race of mine. A slight few of them he couldn't attend because he either had to work or he had to attend some other event for my brothers and sisters. When my two brothers and I were playing soccer, he would try to make three different games every Saturday. Sometimes I would have to get a ride home from a teammate because he had to leave before game's end to attend my other brother's game. Life got a little easier when one of my brothers and I played on the same team. As a family, we spent a lot of weekends in PA on a piece of property that my parents and aunt/uncle owned. Those were some great times.

"It isn't the amount of money you spend on a child, but the amount of time you spend with the child that matters."

I read that quote somewhere and it has stuck with me. Here is another.

"I was the smartest man alive, but I became the stupidest man alive when my children became teenagers."

That one is from my dad. While my mom and dad loved having us around and raising us, I am pretty sure that they are happy that we are out of the house. Now, I am willing to bet that as soon as they become grandparents they will be at my house all the time.

Give it another 10 to 15 years and then we will talk about whether or not you still want your kids in your house.

As far as unconditional love goes, I don't think that ever applies to anything. Yes, when your children are babies you can say you love them unconditionally, but as they grow they can do things to hurt you, and they can do enough to make you stop loving them. If all parents unconditionally love all their children, why do so many parents do such horrible things to their children? Same goes for children unconditionally loving their parents.

Nothing is unconditional in life. I have had employers say that they wanted unconditional loyalty, but loyalty comes with a price. Loyal employees want a loyal employer that treats them right. Same thing goes with love and respect. I love it when people I meet tell me that I have to show them respect. In my book, respect is something that is earned. When I first meet a person, I treat them as a stranger. They have to earn my respect. The same goes with love. Love must be earned. It takes a long time to earn love and respect, but they can be lost very quickly.

We will have to disagree on "unconditional" love.

As far as life changing, I have heard a lot about that from everybody but they cannot tell me exactly what is going to change. Of course my life is going to change when I have a baby. Heck, my life changed when I graduated undergrad. It changed again when I graduated law school. It changed when I bought a dog. It changed when I got married. My life changed when I bought a car, a truck, a bike, and a townhouse. It changed again today when I ate at Sbarro, a fast food place in a mall, and got a mild case of food poisoning. Life is always changing. Now, instead of thinking about car payments, I am learning all there is to know about different ways to save for college and worrying if we will be able to save enough. Once the baby is born, I have 3 months to learn how to change her diaper, how to feed her, and how to do anything else that needs to be done. After that, I am on my own because my wife will be going back to work. I have also learned that there are about as many baby accessories as there are hunting and fishing accessories.