I carry .38/9mm calibers: 38 special +P, 9mm, .380 auto, .38 Super. I also use a good, expanding ammuntion in each (Speer GDHP, Federal Hydrashok, Winchester Silvertip, ect). If a bigger bullet gives you confidence, and you can shoot it well, great.....but I think it most instances anyone attempting to do you harm is
not
expecting you to be armed, therefore you have the element of surprise on your side.
I have worked in E.R., ICUs, and the O.R. for the last 25+ years......I would have to say that any .355/.358 diameter
expanding bullet will put an assailant down for the count....if he ain't dead, he's not gonna be thinking about anything other than getting to a hospital.
Now, a few caveats: First, If you don't hit what you're shooting at, it doesn't matter what caliber you shoot, so either get a round that you can afford to buy a lot of or reload for. Second, when shooting living creatures, there are NO absolutes.....I've seen people killed with single hits from a .25 ACP (although I suspect that's kinda rare) and people who have survived chest hits from larger calibers and walk in under their own power. Don't expect because you read a magazine article that said "The .45 ACP puts down your assailant 95% of the time" that you are going to be in that 95%........Murphy's law is going to throw your behind in the other 5%.
Multiple hits will ensure your chance of survival....If I walk into the O.R. and the area under the table is a lake of blood and the individual is dripping like a sieve from multiple bullet holes, I can almost guarantee you that they are going out horizontal instead of vertical. I don't know anyone who carries a single shot pistol for personal protection, so keep pulling the trigger until the threat stops and for God's sake, make sure your aftermarket magazines work with your gun!
Ammuntion age: We had an incident several years ago where a woman was shot in the head several times with a .32 caliber revolver (sorry, don't know exact caliber). She didn't die....as a matter of fact, she woke up with a bad headache! Skull X rays showed multiple projectiles....the bullets pierced the skin, and then followed various curvitures in the skull. Turns out her father had shot her (she was a mentally handicapped individual) and used 30+ year old ammo. The forensics folks determined that she had survived because the ammo had become less powerful with age. You may just want to buy one box of HPs and use ball for practice, but it would probably be a wise move to use up those HPs once a year and get a new stock.
Interesting that you should bring this topic up.....helped with a case this past weekend; guy was shot with a small caliber (looked like a .22 on X ray) that went through his right arm, into his right chest and into his right heart. He was conscious when brought into the E.R., but quickly tamponaded (blood in the chest kept his heart from beating properly) and they took him to O.R. Could see the bullet on X ray, but we went in and couldn't find it in his heart....it had passed through on the right side (low pressure system). The tamponade that almost killed him acutally helped save him....it stemmed the flow of blood long enough to clot off the hole.
I guess my bottom line: Use a bigger bullet and shoot a lot of 'em!