Lilred's Rant of the Week--Sadamagayiranian

[Lilred]

Instead of goin off this week, I decided to write a loverly story..the first installment of possibly a few...cause I cannot take this sissified crap any more...so..let me introduce to you the terroist of the future, Sadamagayiranian (Sadam-a-gay-iranian)...


Once upon a sometime in the future, there was a terroist named Sadamagayiranian plotting to blow up your hometown in the good ole U S of A.
The CIA was trying desperately to find this evil man who came strolling through American borders from Canada.
John Pansyass, a US border patrol officer, noted the passing man saying ," When I gave him the Welcome to America: Leeching Instructions packet, he gave me a flower and asked me what I was doing Friday night. I told him I was marching in the Save the Cliff Puppies rally and I was not interested."
Sadamagayiranian was spotted at a compound in Nevada under the supervision of Cindy Sheehan two weeks later.
From there, intellegence reported him traveling east on a bus with Sheehan and others. Several pictures were taken in Texas and Arkansaw of the pair inspecting roadkill alongside several interstates and carrying what looked to be a defibulator.
He was followed by the CIA and was seen in DC's gun-free zone robbing citizens and shooting several more when citizens attempted to throw rocks at him. In New York, a spy satellite recorded the purchase of what appeared to be a crate of guns, uranium and 500 pounds of C4 explosives from the Cuban governer.
A month later, 380 Iranians were seen applying for welfare under the America The Free Act at the same office in New York.
The CIA moved in on Sadamagayiranian and brought him in for questioning. He refused to tell officials where the weapon stashes were and where his small army was hiding. He also refused to tell any information about the nuclear missles Cuba has been testing over ocean waters, although he is credited with the funds for the project.
So, the CIA, under orders from President Hillary Clinton, sent Sadamagayiranian to Chicago for one week where he was an audience member at the Oprah show. He wouldn't talk. She then sent him to Walt Disney world. He still didn't talk.
Then, under advice from a much harsher Vice Pesident Barack Obama, she sent him to a biker bar in Minnesota. It was there he was reported dancing with the border patrol officer, John Pansyass.
As a final torture to make Sadamagayiranian talk, Clinton sent her Secretary of War and PETA president Bill Clinton in to pinch Sadamagayiranian's butt until he talked. After 30 minutes, he finally spoke.
His words were.." OK! OK! I will talk! But only to Bill Clinton!"
Head of the CIA and head of the Cliff Puppies rally, Bob Barker noted, "We were asked to clear the room with the exception of Mr. Clinton. We did so."
Then, with video cameras rolling, Sadamagayiranian leaned over to Mr. Clinton and said " What are you doing Friday night?"

[Aim to maim]

Absolutely hilarious. Wish you wouldn't be so hard on the poor old Border Patrol, but the whole thing was funny anyway. (If the Border Patrol recruiting standards keep being lowered, that part of your essay may be more prophetic than you know.)

This is so good it demands a wider audience. I'd like to post it with attribution on a couple of other forums I visit, but will not do so without your blessing.

[Lilred]

Thanks Aim...I was kinda rough on poor John wont I? lol...I'll be easier on him next go round.

Of course you can use it...but I so appreciate you askin, not many folks do. I've had alot of folks tell me that I should set up my own blog page...so I might take em up on it and see how it does.
Unlimited rants....gotta love it...lol

[Valigator]

You kill me, I sure wish you were alot closer, I miss you ever so much....still laughing