|
#1
|
|||
|
|||
Another legend has passed
The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection, and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, who has a bun in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Buttersworth, Hungry Jack, The California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart "cookie", wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes
__________________
...my mistake, make that 4 coffins... |
#2
|
||||
|
||||
You're SICK, wahnie! That's nothing to laugh at!
I'll miss you Pop'n Fresh!
__________________
______________________________ |
#3
|
|||
|
|||
There was another legend that passed today. Speedy Alka Seltzer committed suicide this morning. He jumped into the toilet and evervesced himself to death.
He left a suicide note which the family has allowed to be read to the public. Quote: "Plop plop, fizz fizz. Oh what a relief it is." Unquote. His brother Bromo Seltzer is said to be totally devastated. Funeral arrangements have been made and will be private for family members only. Poor Speedy, we miss him terribly already. Paul B. |
|
|