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#1
06-22-2005, 01:47 PM
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Only a Southerner Knows
To all my wonderful friends in the south who "talk funny", finally an interpretation "Yankee's" can understand
Message Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them. ___ Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess." _____ Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder." _____ Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is -- as in: "Going to town, be back directly." _____ Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table. _____ All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well. _____ In the south we use "buggies" to buy our groceries. _____ Only in the South, do we "Pack our Children" not our suitcases. _____ Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin! _____ Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20. _____ Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash. _____ No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn. _____ A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb. _____ Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do "queues," we do "lines"; and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody! _____ Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage. _____ Southerners never refer to one person as "ya'll." _____ Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them. _____ Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food. _____ When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner! _____ Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk. _____ And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" and go your own way. _____ To those of you who're still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart! _____ And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language! _____ And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, ya'll need a sign to hang on ya'lls front porch that reads "I aint from the South but I got here as fast as I could." ____ Bless your hearts, ya'll have a blessed day. 
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Bird Dogs and Hunting If you're betting against God, you better be right. "When a dog dies they take a piece of your heart but leaves you a piece of his, and humans always make out in that deal. " Mark Twain. Larry Miller 
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#2
06-22-2005, 05:51 PM
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Lord have mercy darlin I think you hit the nail on the head with that 'un. I can say fer sure and fer cartain there ain't a lick of sense between most of the yankees that come to Texas. However while the good ones wouldn't make a hill o' beans there are a few of 'em here abouts. Course there about as rare as hens teeh, I know I ain't seen more than a parsel of 'em in a coons age. Course nowadays it ain't but once in a blue moon you find anybody with sense enough ta pour piss outa a boot. Anyhow I gotta git on down to the house, ya'll come by fer supper sometimes and we can get us some beans and cornbread fore we head out ta prayer meetin'.
I'll let ya get back to yer rat killin'. Ya'll be careful now ya hear? GoodOlBoy
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(Moderator - Gear & Gadgets, Cowboy Action, SouthWest Regional, Small Game) GoodOlBoy@huntchat.com For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. - John 3:16 KJV Then I commended mirth, because a man hath no better thing under the sun, than to eat, and to drink, and to be merry: for that shall abide with him of his labour the days of his life, which God giveth him under the sun. - Ecclesiastes 8:15 KJV "The gun has been called the great equalizer, meaning that a small person with a gun is equal to a large person, but it is a great equalizer in another way, too. It insures that the people are the equal of their government whenever that government forgets that it is servant and not master of the governed." - 40th President of the United States Ronald Reagan 1911-2004
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#3
06-22-2005, 08:18 PM
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gsp i never really gave all that much thought but now that i have read it well it still sounds pretty normal to me - i guess i need to read up on how they do things up north - heck i never knew it was different elsewhere - well i take that back - in my work - work that i do for a living - i sometimes put small "red dots" on people that i want to watch their heart beat - its an electrode connection - anyhow you have to push pretty hard to get the wire connected to it and i told a little old lady one day i was going to "mash" on her kind of hard to let her know what was going to happen and a new coworker from somewhere up north said " mash - i thought thats what you do to potatoes down here" lol so i started saying push - i wonder how many people still wonder what mash means
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#4
06-22-2005, 09:20 PM
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southerner's also know that, thingamajigs, dohickie's, whatchamacallit's, and whatsawhozit's are real items.
translattion for northerners, "dinner" = noon, or "thereabouts", "supper" = evening, "thereabouts" = sometime around then, plus or minus "a spell", "a spell" variable amount of time, but definately prior to the next occurance, and after right now. "coke" = soda, IE you want a coke?, ...yeah...what kind?...dr. pepper. double negatives and sometimes triples do exist in the south, additional instances of such, are an indication of the strength of expression or feeling involved. disparaging remakrs on peoples mothers or sisters are "fightin werds" "fightin werds" = your in deep kaka "he needed killin" is a legitimate defense in a court of law. callin someone "bubba" can be construed as: friendly, derogitory, or anything in between, if you are not aware of the forms reguarding usage of the term "bubba" do not attempt the trial and error method of learning it.
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#5
06-22-2005, 09:23 PM
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What??
Well, heck. I didn't realize them Yankees(say it with a slur) don't understand all them things. An yeah...I still use mash down on sumpthin. I use ta mash down on them lectrodes too Scoot!. Actually I learned that yankees didn't know those terms a lot of years ago. Luckily there was a lot of us Eastern Shore boys werkin where I did. We all understood each other!!
 After a while them yankees started understanding us too.
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skeet@huntchat.com Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote!" Benjamin Franklin
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#6
08-03-2005, 03:19 PM
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Great post!
Let me start out by first stating that, by birth, I'm what would be called a Yankee. Having said that, I'm almost positive that there was some kind of crazy mix up in the hospital where I was born. Because, for as long as I can remember( and that gets harder with every year!) I've always had much more in common with southern folks. I've always preferred their company, manners, sense of style, Moral compass, and their patriotism and Loyalty to Our great country and to their fellow southerners! I find that I can not say the same with many of My fellow "Northerners". In fact, the longer I live here, the worse I feel about it. Gone are the days of even most common courtesy. Everywhere I go, it seems as though I'm seeing more and more of the failings of this type of thinking. Yet It never seems to stop those who promote it. I can only hope that some day I can "Immigrate" to somewhere that all of these things still exist. Tall Shadow
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#7
08-03-2005, 04:07 PM
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Tall just let me know when ya gonna pack up - ill find ya a spot down here and even help ya move your couch in - but ya know a thank you type cookin is expected and we will bring the desert
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#8
08-04-2005, 02:40 PM
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Quote:
I keep trying to talk the wife into a "Sample the South's BBQ- Tour" vacation......She's warming up to the idea. I keep showing her all of the Cooking shows, showing the BBQing going on all over the south & west. I'd be 400lbs if I could eat that all the time. On a side note: Hows the humidity down your way? I ask because after an illness several years ago, I can no longer tolerate the summer humidity here. I love the heat, but I can no longer take high humidity & would love to move somewhere that it's at a more reasonable level year round......Not to mention somewhere that doesn't get snow & -20 below zero in the winter (Burrr!) All The Best! Tall Shadow
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#9
08-04-2005, 02:58 PM
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Hey Tall, if the humidity bothers you buddy, don't come to Texas during the summer. It stays in the HIGH ranges here!
Unfortunantly Texas has the best Bar B Que around GoodOlBoy
__________________
(Moderator - Gear & Gadgets, Cowboy Action, SouthWest Regional, Small Game) GoodOlBoy@huntchat.com For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. - John 3:16 KJV Then I commended mirth, because a man hath no better thing under the sun, than to eat, and to drink, and to be merry: for that shall abide with him of his labour the days of his life, which God giveth him under the sun. - Ecclesiastes 8:15 KJV "The gun has been called the great equalizer, meaning that a small person with a gun is equal to a large person, but it is a great equalizer in another way, too. It insures that the people are the equal of their government whenever that government forgets that it is servant and not master of the governed." - 40th President of the United States Ronald Reagan 1911-2004
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#10
08-04-2005, 06:57 PM
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only thing that i'm a gonna add..is dam straight.. nary is a werd!
And iffin ya'll care fer some bbq..then ya'll can head on down and let Lilred cook ya up a pot..aint a tellin all my secrets..but I'll give ya a hint..a lil moonshine in yer bbq aint never hurt nobody.. 
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"I'm a comin back and I aint comin back ta play marbles!"- Yosemite Sam Last edited by Lilred; 08-04-2005 at 07:12 PM.
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#12
08-09-2005, 12:47 PM
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Well we use fire, but I dunno that a "grill" would be required. I have seen it done on a spit, and I have seen it done in a REAL pit. . . . .
GoodOlBoy
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(Moderator - Gear & Gadgets, Cowboy Action, SouthWest Regional, Small Game) GoodOlBoy@huntchat.com For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. - John 3:16 KJV Then I commended mirth, because a man hath no better thing under the sun, than to eat, and to drink, and to be merry: for that shall abide with him of his labour the days of his life, which God giveth him under the sun. - Ecclesiastes 8:15 KJV "The gun has been called the great equalizer, meaning that a small person with a gun is equal to a large person, but it is a great equalizer in another way, too. It insures that the people are the equal of their government whenever that government forgets that it is servant and not master of the governed." - 40th President of the United States Ronald Reagan 1911-2004
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