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#33
12-24-2006, 04:38 AM
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He ain't slow, he ain't fast, he's half-fast...
Dumber than a bag of hammers... Bright as a total eclipse... Sharp as a garden hoe... His IQ matches his shoe size... As smart as a bus full of blondes... As stupid as dirt... Thinking with the wrong head again... One bottle short of a six-pack... Like talking to a stone wall...
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ILLEGITIMUS NON CARBORUNDUM 
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#34
12-24-2006, 11:16 AM
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His IQ and his normal body temperature are the same number.
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"The American military is like a finely crafted sword. To be effective, it must be wielded by a discerning, skilled and merciless hand."
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#35
12-25-2006, 07:39 PM
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"He's as messed up as a soup sandwich"
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“May we never confuse honest dissent with disloyal subversion.” Dwight D. Eisenhower "If the freedom of speech is taken away, then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter" George Washington Jack@huntchat.com
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#36
12-25-2006, 08:46 PM
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NOT ORIGINAL- ? BURT REYNOLDS MOVIE????
" BEST PART OF YOU RAN DOWN YOUR MOMMA'S LEG" OLD VIET NAM PILOT 10 CODES 10-69 BEGGING YOUR PARDON SIR YOU HAVE ME CONFUSED WITH SOMEONE WHO GIVES A S**T
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LIFE MEMBER NRA LIFE MEM. ALASKA BOWHUNTERS ASSOC. (ABA) MASTER I.B.E.P INSTRUCTOR SEC/TRES. KUPARUK RIVER ARCHERY CLUB. MEMBER UNITED BLOOD TRACKER POPE AND YOUNG OFFICIAL MEASURER
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#37
12-27-2006, 08:35 PM
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AK, just one comma would make quite a difference in your sig line:
POPE, AND YOUNG OFFICIAL MEASURER So exactly how tall is the pope? Or a young official?   Sorry... just seemed like too good a line to pass up. Last edited by denton; 12-27-2006 at 08:47 PM.
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#38
12-27-2006, 08:45 PM
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Back to the contest:
Room temperature IQ Has the IQ of glue Good thing he only has two legs, because he doesn't have the brains to run four. Dumb enough to show up for the sheepherder's sharpshooter contest dressed as a coyote Can't fart because the vacuum in his head pulls everything the other way Outsmarted by sheep (only makes sense if you have spent time on a farm with sheep... turkeys are the only dumber domestic animal I can think of) Went to a stupid contest, and came in first... and third.
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#39
12-28-2006, 12:36 PM
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Here's one fer ya....he's got about as much sense as TD thinkin he's gonna win the sexiest man on hunchat contest with his graduation pic
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"I'm a comin back and I aint comin back ta play marbles!"- Yosemite Sam
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#40
12-29-2006, 03:11 PM
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He's about as useful as an ignition swith on a shovel
Your about as helpful as a tree stand on ADAK island.
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#41
01-01-2007, 11:08 AM
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Okey doke, it's January 1 and the contest is officially over.
Lots of really funny lines there, folks. My grinner is plum tired. Since there's no second place, I'll skip right to the winner... The one that made me laugh aloud when I read it is... Went to a stupid contest, and came in first... and third. by Denton. (yes, I do know Denton, but that had no bearing on my choice. That line is just plain FUNNY!) Thanks for participating, folks. I'll have a new contest posted soon.
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Freedom of the Press Does NOT mean the right to lie! Visit me at my Reloading Room webpage! Get signed copies of my Vietnam novels at "Baggy Zero Four" "Mike Five Eight"
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