"Uncle Slim"...

[earschplitinloudenboomer]

...he wasn't...he probably weighed well over 300 pounds, and I'll never forget the day I introduced him to helgramites. Uncle Slim called, wanted me to take him fishin', I was 12 or 13. He showed up with a pinto bean can with half a dozen or so little gray sewer worms...dug from his yard. On the way to one of my favorite fishin' holes, I asked Uncle Slim to stop at a bait shop and I would buy some helgramites for bait as I didn't have time to catch any. Uncle Slim asked "what are hilderbites?", (Uncle Slim talked kinda funny). I just told him that they were good to fish with, but already I began to anticipate their first meeting. Boy was I in luck, the bait shop had just gotten in a fresh batch of those big ol' red headed lookin' critters, the ones that just glare up out of the cup at you and dare you to touch 'em. Well I capped the bait cup off pretty tight and we were on our way. The spot I chose was in a good turnhole, and on the bank an old home made wooden river jon boat was tied off to a willow tree. I had permission from the boats owner to sit in it and fish so I graciously offered Uncle Slim the rear seat ( the one sticking farthest out into the water). He reminded me of a highwire walker making his way back there...both arms stretched out...bobbin' an' aweavin'...leeetle bitty steps, heel to toe...300 pounds!...( the bottom of that big ol' jon boat must have been 4 or 5 feet wide but I reckon Uncle Slim didn't have much in the way of sea legs). Anyway, we got set down, rigged up and ready for bait..."Jimmy Joe"...(don't know why Uncle Slim called me Jimmy Joe, my name is Sam)..."Jimmy Joe", he says, "gimme one of them hilderbites". So, I handed him the cup. Somewhere in Uncle Slim's past, I'm sure that there is a background in ballet...finer pirohuets I have never seen...not to mention various squats, and what appeared to be an allemand left!...all with that big ol' red headed helgramite hangin' onto his left thumb...grinnin'. Well, with one last YEEEOOOOWWWW!!!, Uncle Slim race past me (having found his sea legs) and up the bank, grabbed a good sized rock and began pounding the helgramite...and his thumb (by now it was hard to tell which was which) to a bloody pulp. Once extricated from the helgramites grip, Uncle Slim stomped to the truck, crawled in and slammed the door. Since all the rest of the bait, and most of our tackle had been knocked overboard during Uncle Slim's debut, I figured this fishin' trip was pretty near done. I didn't want to walk home so I gathered up what I could quickly and joined Uncle Slim in the truck. Conversation on the way home wasn't altogether "family oriented" so I better leave off here, an' I swear this fishin' story is mostly true...moatly.

best to you and yours...
ears-