philosophy of life

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GREAT TRUTHS CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED : 1) no matter how hard you try you cant baptize cats. 2)When your mom is mad at youor dad dont let her brush your hair. 3)If your sister hits you dont hit her back-they always catch the second person. 4)You cant trust dogs to watch your food. 5)Dont sneeze when someone is cutting your hair. 6)You cant hide a piece of broccoly in a cup of milk. 7)The best place to be when you are sad is grandpas lap.

GREAT TRUTHS ADULTS HAVE LEARNED: 1)Raising teenagers is like nailing jello to a tree. 2)Wrinkles dont hurt . 3)Families are like fudge, mostly sweet with a few nuts. 4)Todays oak is just a nut that held its ground. 5)Laughter is good exercise. Its like jogging on the inside. 6) Middle age is when you choose your cerial for its fiber-not its toy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD; 1) Growing up is mandantory, growing old is optional 2) Forget the health foods, we need all the preservatives we can get. 3)When you fall down you wonder what else you can do while you are down there. 4)You are old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair you used to get from a roller coaster. 5)Its frustrating , you know all the answers but nobody asks the questions.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE; 1) You believe in Santa. 2)You dont believe in santa. 3)You are santa. 4)You look like santa.

SUCCESS IS: age 4-not peeing your pants. age12-having friends age16-having a drivers license. age35-having money. age50-having money. age70-having a drivers license. age75-having friends. age80-not peeing your pants.