President's speech

[Valigator]

> > > UNITED WE STAND....
> > >
> > > WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT,
> >DEMOCRAT
> > > OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has
> >been
> > > completed.
> > >
> > >
> > > Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our
> > > mission in Iraq is complete.
> > >
> > >
> > > This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American
> >forces
> > > from Iraq This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now to
> >begin
> > > the reckoning.
> > >
> > >
> > > Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries
> >which
> > > have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short.
> >The
> > > United Kingdom , Spain , Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are some of
> >the
> > > countries listed there.
> > >
> > >
> > > The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the
> >world's
> > > nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing
> >copies of
> > > both lists later this evening.
> > >
> > >
> > > Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those
> > > nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved
> >during the
> > > first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.
> > >
> > >
> > > The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world
> > > Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.
> > >
> > >
> > > Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France
> > >
> > >
> > > In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this
> >money
> > > toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On
> >that note,
> > > a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you
> >down
> > > and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.
> > >
> > >
> > > Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France , or maybe
> >China
> > >
> > >
> > > I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with
> >France ,
> > > Germany , and Russia . Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are
> >retiring
> > > from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
> > >
> > >
> > > I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many
> >UN
> > > diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid
> >parking
> > > tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and
> >crushed. I
> > > don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens
> >of
> > > thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your
> >precious
> > > Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop
> >shops in
> > > the world. I love New York
> > >
> > >
> > > A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are
> >likely to
> > > be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not
> >pissing
> > > us off for a change.
> > >
> > >
> > > Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt
> >government
> > > really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and
> > > infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em?
> >Yep, border
> > > security. So start doing something with your oil.
> > >
> > >
> > > Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty -
> >starting
> > > now.
> > >
> > >
> > > We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for
> >oil
> > > in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for
> >decades to
> > > come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer
> >you to
> > > List 2 above: pick a country and move there. They care.
> > >
> > >
> > > It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own
> >citizens.
> > > Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn
> >tootin."
> > >
> > > Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the
> >world
> > > has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the
> >planet.
> > > It is time to eliminate hunger in America . It is time to eliminate
> > > homelessness in America . It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from
> >America . To
> > > the nations on List 1, a final thought Thanks guys. We owe you and we
> >won't
> > > forget. To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to
> >learn to
> > > speak Arabic. God bless America . Thank you and good night. If you can
> >read
> > > this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a
> >soldier.
> > >
> > >
> > > (Please forward this to at least ten friends and see what happens!
> >Let's get
> > > this to every USA computer!)