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#1
10-22-2008, 06:04 PM
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Handshakes I hate!
OK folks I just experienced #2 on my list of handshakes I HATE. For those who don't have a firm handshake take the tennis ball away from the dog and work on it. Sheesh
#1 - The limp noodle - The name says it all. These people have all the handshake power of a overcooke macaroni. I would shoot you but I am afraid you would ooze away from the muzzle blast. #2 - The finger grabber - The person who instead of grabbing your hand grabs your fingers and squeezes them together. Let go of my fingers and give me back my hand or wear a vest. #3 - The no motioner - Yep it is a hand shake, not a hand hold. I'm a man, you're supposedly a man. Start moving that hand, or start outrunning lead. #4 - The wet fish - What? Do you bathe in moisurizer? Did you just get out of the pool? Do I even want to know? I hope for you sake you can explain it before the ex-marine recon guy who thinks you just made a pass at him gets to the trigger on his gun. #5 - The cold claw - What the heck man! It's 114F in the shade and your hand is like dry ice! Are you dead or dying? I would shoot you, but I think I need to call you an ambulance instead! #6 - The cruncher - ok ok so this guy likes a good firm handshake and maybe went a weeee bit overboard by adding power grips into his steroid induced workout routine. I will shoot to defend myself Hugo so back off! #7 - the overpumper - yep. It ain't the 1950s anymore. I am not your bloodbrother in a treehouse Beaver Cleaver. It's hand shake not hand pingpong between your nose and knees. At least you are to pathetic to make a good target. #8 - the finger wiggler - what the heck! It's like going to a funeral and seeing the dead guy hiccup. Don't shake my hand and wiggle your fingers! You are asking to walk with a limp! #9 - the double hander - You ain't askin for my hand in marriage pal so drop the second hand before you loose a knuckle, AND walk with a limp! #10 - any combo from above. The limp finger-grabbin no-motioner cold-claw wet-fish handshaker just needs to be shot to get them out of the gene pool. They are useless to society and probably offspring from a breeding combination of hitler and the devil. In a world where trust is going down the toilet some of us still do buisness with a handshake and our word. And those who fit into the lists above need to work on it so you don't get your pinky toe shot off by somebody who misunderstands. GoodOlBoy
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(Moderator - Gear & Gadgets, Cowboy Action, SouthWest Regional, Small Game) GoodOlBoy@huntchat.com For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. - John 3:16 KJV Then I commended mirth, because a man hath no better thing under the sun, than to eat, and to drink, and to be merry: for that shall abide with him of his labour the days of his life, which God giveth him under the sun. - Ecclesiastes 8:15 KJV "The gun has been called the great equalizer, meaning that a small person with a gun is equal to a large person, but it is a great equalizer in another way, too. It insures that the people are the equal of their government whenever that government forgets that it is servant and not master of the governed." - 40th President of the United States Ronald Reagan 1911-2004 
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