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#31
11-12-2006, 01:27 PM
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Some of them that My kid addled brain can remember.....
For describing "Smarts": "That boy is as sharp as a bowling ball." " Dumb as a box of hammers." "Smart as a fence post." "I'd say he's as dumb as________, but I wouldn't want to insult the __________!" (IE: a retarded Cow...I'd say he was dumb as a retarded cow, but I wouldn't want to insult the cow!) On the weather: "I'd tell you how cold it is out, but my brain is to frozen to function!" "It's so cold......" followed buy any one of thousands of "Cold" jokes. "It's so windy, I saw the same hen lay an egg three times!" Done with your thumbs under your underarms,and with the accent like the "Old new england" farmer..."Might rain today!" Only to be said while standing in a HUGE downpour.....Our weather forecasters leave much to be desired. "It's not the heat, it's the humidity!" Only done when the temperature is 100/150 (100 degrees, with 150% humidity  ), or what we like to call spring/summer/fall....just before it goes back to -20 degrees for the other 9 months of the year."We might get a light dusting of snow." Said just before the latest record setting snowfall of the past 150 years. "We will get 1 to 5 feet of snow." Said just before a record setting 75 degree heat wave in the middle of February. For marriage/relationships : "Are you married, or happy?" "You know, they say married men live longer...Yes, It's a S-L-O-W painfully death." "Make sure that you keep the receipt handy!" Said to someone who is entering into a foolish/doomed marriage, about the wedding gifts. "I've been trying to get a new _________ for my Wife, but no one will make the trade." I know many, many more. But I think I'll stop there..... Tall Shadow 
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#32
11-13-2006, 08:14 AM
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An Lemme ask ya this since WHEN do ya hafta qualify "He ain't got sense enough ta pour piss outa a boot"???
Ya don't hafta add "with instructions written on the bottom!" Or if'n ya do then the person yer talkin to must be a REAL goober. . . . GoodOlBoy
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(Moderator - Gear & Gadgets, Cowboy Action, SouthWest Regional, Small Game) GoodOlBoy@huntchat.com For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. - John 3:16 KJV Then I commended mirth, because a man hath no better thing under the sun, than to eat, and to drink, and to be merry: for that shall abide with him of his labour the days of his life, which God giveth him under the sun. - Ecclesiastes 8:15 KJV "The gun has been called the great equalizer, meaning that a small person with a gun is equal to a large person, but it is a great equalizer in another way, too. It insures that the people are the equal of their government whenever that government forgets that it is servant and not master of the governed." - 40th President of the United States Ronald Reagan 1911-2004
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