I have a question please tell me the truth

[DaMadman]

If you left your 8 year old with relatives every day during the summer, dropped off in the morning and picked up in the evening and occasionally he spend the night with those relatives.
The relatives that are watching your child are totally trustable and occasionally, once a week or so, take your kid out for the day to do something fun, and you tell your 8 year old son that he should call you if they are leaving the house and are going to be gone for more than a few hours.

Do any of you think that this is too much responsibility for an 8 year old? Basically involving knowing what more than a few hours is, and being able to dial a phone before they leave to go somewhere?

[Allen]

This is just my opinion, but I would expect the relative to do the calling. Unless the child has their own cell phone they may not have time, say outside playing, to call when its time to go. Most trips of any length of time are planned in advance. If you trust the people there is no need to call you for short trips. Again this is just my opinion, the child is your child and you need to do what is best for you and safe for the child. It has been 10 years since my daughter was 8 and things sure have changed in that short time.

Allen

[VinVega]

I kinda agree with Allen, but maybe you could get the relatives to have your 8 year old call you, that way he doesn't forget to do it, and gets into the routine of it. I think expecting him to do it completely on his own might be hard, but that all depends on the kid.

[DaMadman]

OK here's the deal, The relatives are my 77 year old grandparents, they are healthy alert and very active and they insist on my son staying with them rather than a sitter or day care.

Problem is they really do not, and haven't ever used the phone unless it is an emergency or if someone is calling them. So I figured rather than to try to change two 70 something year old people I would just have my son call instead of having them do it. Well he forgot yesterday and it worried my wife for hours. So long story short we are just goign to have to remind my son more often and I told him that I would remind him but it was going to have to be his responsibility.

BTW I do agree that if it were anyone else other than two 77 year old people I would just have the adult do the calling. I am looking at it this way. When I was his age I had been hunting with my Dad's supervision for almost 3 years. I hope if I remind my son on occasion he will be responsible enough pick up the phone and call his mother. hehehe

[Mil Dot]

I don't know that you could get to wound up on the child. While he's getting to the age to accept this responsibility IMO it's a habitual thing. Do you call him if you're apart to let him know you're breaking a regular pattern ie you normally get home at 5pm but today you have a couple of errands which will cause you to be home at 6pm instead? Do you call your spouse and let her know and does she share that info with the child? Training, repetition, consistancy and being a role model.

My daughter is a 13 yr old work in progress ... wish me luck.

[DaMadman]

Originally posted by Mil Dot
I don't know that you could get to wound up on the child. While he's getting to the age to accept this responsibility IMO it's a habitual thing. Do you call him if you're apart to let him know you're breaking a regular pattern ie you normally get home at 5pm but today you have a couple of errands which will cause you to be home at 6pm instead? Do you call your spouse and let her know and does she share that info with the child? Training, repetition, consistancy and being a role model.

My daughter is a 13 yr old work in progress ... wish me luck.

yep we do try to do that, letting him know if we are going to be running late picking him up from someplace. But long story short. We told him last night that we are going to remind him more often and I told my Grandparents that he is supposed to call if they are going to be gone for more than an hour or two so hopefully with the reminding and telling my Grandparents once again, between the three of them they will remember to call before they leave the house for an all day funfest. Personally I do not worry or call there during the day, because it is where I stayed when I was a kid and it just doesn't worry me that much but if my son spends the night my wife likes to call and checkin and talk to him the next day and if she calls and doesn't get an answer on the phone for more than an hour or two it worries her to death. So hopefully the probelm is resolved and my son will learn that he needs to call his Momma before him and my grandparent leave for a day of fun. hehehehehe

might as well get him started now so he will have it in his head that he needs to call if he's going to be late coming home as a teenager

[Allen]

Well, now that I know “the rest of the story”, you do have a struggle ahead of you. Your grandparents have lived their lives with little to no need for a telephone. Your son faces a life of fast communication. You will most likely never change the grandparents so work with you son and he will learn in time. As you get into the teen years communication will be more difficult.

Good luck
Allen

[Andy L]

The kid should be responsible enough. However, since I got a couple boys either side of that and have recently experienced that mentality, no. Dont expect it. I checked the first one. Dont even ask them to. They may or may not, depending on how excited they are about what they are leaving to do.

My question is, why doesnt the totally trusted adult relative be asked to call you if leaving with your 8 yr old for more than a few hours? That would be a better bet, IMO.

Dont count on 8yr olds for anything. I must say, especially now. When I was 8? Maybe. But, things were a bit different. Not as many distractions for sure.

Andy

[jon lynn]

Grandparents spoil kids (it's their job), when the 8 year old is having fun with the great grand parents, I would think the last thing on his young mind is to call mom and dad.

And although he seems totally capable, I think the 'kids will be kids', kinda creeps in. I am a whimp dad in some areas, I think life came too fast for me in some aspects. So I try and cut my kids some slack, but discipline remains the same.

You no doubt trust your grandparents, other than worrying about their well being at their age, just teach your son how to call 911 (God forbid) should a crisis arrive.

Just have him carry his cell phone with him when ever they leave, they have endless gadgets to attatch them to the little person so they can't loose it (well that will always be the dream)

All my grandparents died before I was born, so I don't know what I am missing, but I would say let him enjoy

[fabsroman]

I think it comes down to the maturity of the child/person. Some 20 year olds cannot remember to make phone calls that they are supposed to make.

You will have to decide this one on your own. However, I know that my parents would have expected me to call at age 8 if I were leaving a friends place and going somewhere. Then again, they were a lot stricter with me than with my younger brothers.