Women and children enough to drive you to drink

[DaMadman]

Can I please have a few opinions on this please

here's my situation.

I have a daughter that has been in college 2 years, at community college. She is starting at the State University this semester in a hearing and speach to get her masters.

Well when my daughter started driving we gave her a my wife's toyota tercel and bought my wife a 4 Runner and she has been driving it ever since. we put an engine in it for her and the car is in great shape. Now that she is going to be driving to the University 2 times a week and it is about an 1 to 1-1/2 hours drive my wife is scared for her to drive the Tercel because it is such a small car and she think she would be safer in a larger vehicle. My wife and I both have 2 vehicles the wife drives a Honda accord and also has a Toyota 4 Runner I drive a dodge truck or a Bronco II


My wife bought the Honda because she was getting upset driving the 4 Runner to work and it was starting to get nicks and dings and cracked widshield and racking up the miles so she bought a beater to drive (the honda) and only drives the 4 Runner a few days every couple week or on trips. The same with my truck and the Bronco II
The truck gets poor gas mileage and i was really racking up the miles so I bought the broncoII as a daily driver.
Anyway after recently (a year) ago getting rid of our Car Payments (payed off all the vehicles) and hearing my wife talk about how nice it really is to NOT have that payment hanging over our head, now all of the sudden my wife want to give the 4 Runner to our daughter, sell the Tercell and the BroncoII buy a Highlander for herself and pick me up a different truck to drive to work.

My solution is to let our daughter drive the 4 Runner 2 days a week to school, keep her tercel to run around town and as a daily driver and NOT have a $400 a month car payment.

Well the wife is all bent out of shape at me and is making me feel like a jerk because she says she would just really feel better with our daughter driving the 4 Runner and I am thinking about the amount of debt for basically no good reason.

Does anyone here see this in a differnet light.

who thinks I am being unreasonable and who think I am doing the right thing?


I am just asking for opinions and I would not get mad one way or the other.

I just respect you guys and your thoughts and would like to know what you would do in this situation.

The way I look at it is that we already gave our daughter one car, we pay her car insurance, we pay her cellphone bill and we have paid for her first two years of college. She is a great kid and does work and buys her own shampoos and pays for part of her books and has payed for her insurance in the past. She is putting the rest of the college on student loans and we already told her that we would help her with books and living expenses (gas, clothes, books ect.)
She has a reliable car (the tercel) and she can drive the 4 Runner the couple days a week to and from school, and this way she still has her little car that gets good gas mileage and has use of a little safer of a vehicle to drive back and forth to school. Without me having to shell out $25,000 to $30,000 for another new vehicle when we already have reliable transportation in the driveway.

Am I being unreasonable guys

[denton]

It is a no-win situation.

If you're really brave, you could note that your daughter is now an adult, and that providing your own transportation comes with that. Being a good sport, you'll even let her trade in "her" car on anything she wants to buy for herself.

[Classicvette63]

I've only been married a year, but I'm a quick learner. Listen to all sides. Think about it. Then make a decision. No arguing, begging etc. This is the way it is, end of story. Wife might not talk to you for awhile, but that is better than listening to hear nag about something.

I'm in a similar boat. My stepson is going to college in Jan. While we are working to pay for it, he is out looking for a motorcycle to buy. I told the wife, "if he buys a motorcycle he must have enough money that he doesn't need any of mine."

[Rocky Raab]

Tell your wife how you feel: that you really do not want to add a car payment or two to the additional college expenses, and that you're pretty happy with the truck and B II that you're driving.

Offer this solution: if she is worried about daughter's safety, she can sell any two of the three vehicles the women drive and get one replacement that's completely paid for. Or sell all three and get two different used ones.

But no new car payments.

[DogYeller]

No arguing, begging etc. This is the way it is, end of story.

Bw ha ha ha ha ha
I've been married for 37 years and I know, for a fact, when you think you have it figured out the rules change. Get back to me in about 20 years and tell me how it’s worked out. Are you really in control or does it just seem that way?

[DaMadman]

Originally posted by denton
It is a no-win situation.

If you're really brave, you could note that your daughter is now an adult, and that providing your own transportation comes with that. Being a good sport, you'll even let her trade in "her" car on anything she wants to buy for herself.

hehehe
Yeah No win, that is exactly how I feel. Damned if I do Damned if you don't. The worst part is I know for a fact that if my wife got the Highlander it would sit in the driveway most of the time because the wife would not want it getting messed up driving it to and from work, (same thing that happened with the 4 Runner)

Thanks for the reply.

I totally understand that my daughter is a good kid and I want to give her some of the advantages that I didn't have and I think I have. My parents sent my sister away to college and payed for her tuition (room and board and books) but they made her leave her car at home because they couldn't afford to replace it if she wore it out. I mean we gave my daughter a car that was in top notch A-1 shape and she has taken care of it and it is still a great car, I just can't see going out and buying a new car and giving her another $15,000 vehicle. I don't mind if she uses the 4 Runner to drive to school I even told my wife if it was that big of a deal to her, let our daughter use the 4 runner full time until we the Tercel and buy my daughter a bigger used car.

It is totally a mother wanting to make sure her kid is safe going to and from school and I want my daughter to be safe to I just do not see the logic in buying a $30,000 car and giving a 19 year old a second car when she has access to use it whenever she needs to already.

Really I guess I am just looking for some opinions to clarify in my head that I am doing the right thing or for someone to say i think your wife is right so I can justify doing this or not doing it.

The other thing was when I asked my wife if we bought another vehicle if it would strap us in the financial dept and she said well yeah but we could do it if she was careful. We just got ourselves out of that kind of situation, where we had to watch every penny and I don't think this is a good reason to go back to that.

This is all probably too much information and I probably shouldn't have posted a lot of this but I guess I just needed to vent.

Any comments or opinions are openly appreciated and will not be taken offense to. So if you have an opinion or cooment please feel free to post it.

Thanks Guys and gals I respect your opinions and thoughts or I would not have posted this here.

[DaMadman]

Originally posted by Rocky Raab
Tell your wife how you feel: that you really do not want to add a car payment or two to the additional college expenses, and that you're pretty happy with the truck and B II that you're driving.

Offer this solution: if she is worried about daughter's safety, she can sell any two of the three vehicles the women drive and get one replacement that's completely paid for. Or sell all three and get two different used ones.

But no new car payments.

See I love that solution and have made a similar suggestion. Sell the Tercel, and add some to it (out of the bank) and buy the daughter a nice used midsize car or small SUV.

Didn't go over well. It is women logic. No offense to any women here

Idunno I would normally go back and forth about this and try to make her see my point and it would wind up in an arguement. I think this time I am just going to stick to my guns and ride out the storm.

Let our daughter use the 4 Runner when she needs it and keep the Tercel for her Daily Driver, that way she has a safer vehicle to drive in the traffic going to and coming home from school and still has her little car to run the streets.

I can honestly hear my wife 6-8 moths down the road saying what in the hell was I thinking when I bought this thing and took on this payment, not to mention the issues if she got the new highlander and it gets a scratch or our son spilled something in the seat, plus it would wind up sitting in the driveway while she drove the accord to work everyday.

Idunno Guys thanks for the suggestions and thoughts I appreciate them.

Just when you think you are going to make ends meet someone decides to go and move the ends. hehehee

[Classicvette63]

DogYeller, I'm pretty relaxed when it comes to the decisions that need to be made. BUT, on the occasions where I say that's it, THAT is it. If not, there is the door. About two months ago I was out with some relatives I hadn't seen in awhile. Get a call on my cell from wifey at 7pm that she wants me home NOW! I come rolling in about 3:30-4 am. She is on the warpath, hollering and carrying on. I told her while she was hollering she could be packing. That ended the conversation. That was the first time in a year that I was out without her. Not too much to ask in my mind. Life's too short to argue and holler.

[Lilred]

well..here goes comin from a woman's point of view..iffin yer wife is really wantin yer daughter to have a big vehicle er whatever..then trade her 2 vehicles in and the daughters...and then they can split the money..and buy what they can out of it with NO payment..lol

Sounds to me like ya'll got enuf vehicles to carry the entire Yankee army into Appomatox..and I'd be riled as a rooster goin to the choppin block iffin I had just got out of debt, and some fool asked me to jump back in. Ludicrous.
And I'll apologize up front..so ya'll wont git but so riled...
But iffin I had a vehicle that I wouldnt drive cause I was afraid it'd git scratched..I'd sell it fer a beat up pickup so I wouldnt have to worry bout it no more. There's more to life than a shiny vehicle..and iffin yer really itchin to go into debt...put more money back into yer retirement...er you can always buy Lilred somethin..like say..one of them there perty blue tick beagles ole man Watson got in Buckingham county

[fabsroman]

I think you guys might be looking at this the wrong way. Maybe his wife really wants the Highlander, and the rest is just a means to get the highlander.

As far as a Tercel or a 4 Runner being a safe car, I think you need to look at a lot of factors. What kind of speed do both cars have? I would guess not a lot. The Tercel is a little small, the 4 Runner is more prone to rolling over. If you really want your daughter to be safer on the road, give her some defensive driver lessons. In the end, bigger cars take longer to stop. If you want something in the mid size range, you can always trade in the Tercel and buy a used mid size car for not too much more.

If it was me, there is no way I would be going into debt so that my child could have a safer car. I am dying to finish paying off my truck and my wife's car next year. If I am at all lucky, I might be able to pay one off by the end of this year. Cars are just a waste of money, unless you really love your car, but if your wife loved her 4 Runner that much, she wouldn't be too quick to get rid of it.

I have a Taurus that is paid for and a 1989 Mustang that I paid off in one year after getting the loan. That Mustang barely ever gets driven because it was getting beat up pretty bad while I was attending the University of Maryland. If your wife is worried about beating a car up driving to work, wait until your daugther starts driving one of your cars to school where most students have crappy cars and they really do not care about them. After two months of attending the University of Maryland, I had three dings in the Mustang. That is when I decided to drive the Ford Fairmont for the next 8 years and then buy the Taurus when that car finally died. I will continue to drive the Taurus until I can no longer repair it or the cost of parts is just not worth it.

Say no to debt!!!!!!!!!!!! You can use the extra money to help pay your daughter's tuition, or better yet, plan your retirement.

[Valigator]

De Madman,

I like your solution...its feasible and no more debt..shoot I wouldnt want your insurance bills alone....let alone a new car payment...with full coverage.....obviously this is a sore subject with you....and if the bulk of the nut comes out of your pocket..you sure do have a say...my advice...talk to your daughter...hey shes an adult...stress to her you really dont feel like going into a 30,000 debt when there are other priorities...let her feel she has a say in the problem...and when she thinks about it she'll lean towards your side...and the wife will be out of it....my two cents....

[DaMadman]

Hey everyone thanks for the advice. We hashed it out and she realized that it wasn't really the best financial step to take right now and our daughter is going to just use the 4 Runner to drive to and from school and keep here Tercel and drive it everywhere else.

BTW Val I almost took that route and I that was goign to be my next step if rationality had not worked when it did.


BTW in the end it was totally worked out and realized that the whole thing was just a worrying momma that wants her "baby" to get to school and home safely. I personally think that MOM's worry way more that anyone else on the planet and I really feel for them, I mean I worry about my kids too but no where near as much as the wife does