Winders 2005

[gspsonny03]

Attention Consumers:

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS 2005, SOUTHERN EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside of the SOUTH.

If you have one of these, you may need help understanding the commands. The SOUTHERN EDITION may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads: WINDERS 2005, with a background picture of the band, "Alabama" superimposed over a bottle of Chilton County moonshine.

Please also note:

The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"
My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"
Dial Up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"
Control Panel is known as "The Dashboard"
Hard Drive is referred to as "4-Wheel Drive"
Floppies are "Them little ol' plastic thangs"
Instead of an error message, "Duct Tape" pops up

CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN SOUTHERN EDITION:
Cancel............stopdat
Reset.............try'er agin
Yes...............yep
No................nope
Find..............hunt fer it
Go to.............over yonder
Back..............back yonder
Help..............hep me out here
Stop..............kwitit (WHOA!)
Start.............crank'er up
Settings..........settins
Programs......... stuff at duz stuff
Documents.........stuff ah done did

Also note that the SOUTHERN EDITION does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks. Some programs that are exclusive to WINDERS 2005:

Tiperiter.....................a word processing program
Colerin' Book.................a graphics program
Cyferin' Mersheen.............calculator
Outhouse Paper................notepad
Inner-net.....................Microsoft Explorer
Pitchers......................a graphics viewer

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused. If you have received a copy of the SOUTHERN EDITION, you may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.