Funny cops

[Tater]

The following top 15 police comments were taken off of actual police
car
>videos around the country:
>
>#15: "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll
stretch
>out after you wear them awhile."
>
>#14: "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth
certificate a
>worthless document."
>
>#13: "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
>
>#12: "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't
>know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."
>
>#11: "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I
can
>write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
>
>#10: "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't
think it
>will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
>
>#9: "Warning! You want a warning? Okay, I'm warning you not to do that
>again or I'll give you another ticket."
>
>#8: "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are
drunk
>or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
>
>#7: "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you
go to
>ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey doo."
>
>#6: "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a
toaster
>oven."
>
>#5: "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
>
>#4: "Just how big were those two beers?"
>
>#3: "No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but
now
>we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
>
>#2: "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of
>yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."
>
>#1: "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we
don't.
>Sign here."