Death

[larryours]

I know that as men, we are supposed to be strong and don't show emotion, there is nothing wrong with shedding tears at someones death, but I think we could by pass alot of the grief if we came out and told the individual while they are alive, how you feel about them, if you care about someone tell them before it's to late.
Maybe we can't bring ourselves to express ourselves to someone we care about when they are alive, but once they are gone, then it's too late. If you have a problem with it in person, then do it on their birthday, Christmas or some other time, in a card. I'm sure a note would help them understand how you feel about them.

We put Roy to rest in the Stonewall Cemetery, outside Manassas, Virgina,(Cemetery is west of the Stonehouse) Civil War battlefield, which was fitting, since Roy was layed to rest with other soldiers( Civil War to present) Roy was a WW11 Veteran.

However, I'm the type who remembers them as when they were alive, I didn't view Roy in the casket, simpley, because thats how I would remember him,
I was doing okay, untill they played the song, " Go to Rest High on that Mountain" That's when the tears began to flow, thinking back 25 years ago deer hunting ,then bear hunting later, when we got back to the house, I told my son that there was something I had to do, I got the keys for the garage, my son, Roys' 2nd grandchild , Scott and I went out, there were some bottles of beer in the fridge. We drank them, in Roy's memory, because there will be a void that will never be filled
And I'll never drink another beer in that garage, because about a week before Roy's death, they surveyed for a new 4 lane highway & house complex which will take the garage & house, so I took pictures of them both, and the Song, " You can never go home, seems fitting, because 30 years of memories will still stay with me, but the physical structures will be gone forever.
This is so with alot of deer camps across the U.S., progress does
kill alot of places where memories have been made.
Roy built the house and garage many years ago with his own hands(he was a carpenter) and the help of his family, maybe it was to be,( his death )that he wouldn't have to see his life's work( the home he built and lived in) for 40 + years,destroyed in the name of progress, while he was alive. I couldn't have asked for a better father-in-law,
So a note to the younger hunters, if you have a good friend, your father, father-in-law, grandfather, ect.( don't forget the ladies, wife, mother,mother-in-law, grandmother. Tell them how you feel before it's too late, and then you can't. I think it will make everyone feel better. Sometimes the only thing you will have left will be the memories .

[fabsroman]

Larry,

Sorry to hear about your loss, and while I agree with you, I also disagree.

About 4 years ago, I was dating this woman that believed in telling people that you love them. My dad and I are best friends, but she thought I was tough on my dad. Yeah, my family is pretty tough on one another, but we are really close. We still go over my parents every Sunday for dinner. Anyway, to give you an example of how my dad is, I once got a 97 on a cost accounting exam in college and when I told him what I got, he asked me what happened to the other 3 points. So, on the next exam I got lucky and got a 100. When I told him that score, he asked me if there was any extra credit. However, when I brought home a 3.8 gpa one fall semester, I vividly remember my dad sitting down with us for the New Year's toast and going around the table saying how he felt about everybody's accomplishments over that year. The only thing he had to say about me was that he was very pleased with me. On the converse, my sister graduated undergrad and got a job with Arthur Andersen a year before l graduated law school. That winter, while loading up the truck to go hunting, my uncle said to my dad, "You must be very proud of Fabs." My dad responded with, I am very proud of my daughter (i.e., my sister)." That really hurt. About 6 months later, my sister told my dad that he had nothing to offer her and an argument or two later, they didn't speak for 3 years.

The other night, my wife got a pretty decent paper cut on thumb and was complaining to my brother about it. My brother made so much fun of her that night.

Anyway, the woman I was dating 4 years ago made me tell my dad "I love you" over the phone and it was completely awkward. On top of that, my dad was wondering if there was anything wrong with me (i.e., I was dying). Meanwhile, this woman kept telling me that she loved me even while she was cheating on me and scheming to break up with me. Mind you, we were engaged at the time.

Personally, I believe that actions speak louder than words, especially in a society where lying is becoming the norm. I spend a lot of time with my family. Some more than others, but we rarely ever say we love one another. It just isn't the way we were brought up.

[larryours]

Fabroman, I use to be that way, until I became a grandfather and almost lost my grand daughter twice before her 1 st birthday, once to a traffic accident and once to illness. I don't want her to remember me as a COLD-HEARTED GRANDFATHER, you might think me as a puss, but I'm not afraid to tell someone I love them, a lot of people think if you tell them you love them, the first thout that goes to their mind is sex, there's love and then there's lust, love comes from the heart, lust come from below the belt. When you feel the love of the heart, it doesn't mean your a pervert, I just regret not fully telling my father 17 years ago, when he died from a massive heat attack, or my aunt afew years later who was close to me Hey, I since 1996, have delt with close calls , death , in cancer and then later traffic accident. life is to short to be cold hearted and uncaring, if you truely love someone, let them know, it's not a sign of weakness, but if you don't, that's just plain old fashion stubborness.

I would say if something happen to you, your Dad wouldn't be able to handle it, just simply because he never told you how he really thouught about you, I've seen that many times over the years, and decided if your man enough to have children, then you should be man enough to tell them you love them.

By the way, it sound like the woman that said she was in love with you, simply wasn't from the heart.

[MacD37]

If my loved ones think I haven't told them I love them, because I didn't say the words, then IMO, they simply were not lestening!

Love is the way you treat people, not the hollow words folks take so much store in, while at the same time telling one lie after another, with WORDS!

[Swift]

Being an ER RN I help save lives and watch em slip away.

I can guarantee an occassional " I Love You" will pay for itself in the end.

[Rapier]

Swift,
Well said.
Ed

[Lilred]

I gotta say first off that even though it's under terrible circumstances, its mighty good to see you again.

I'm sorry for your loss..and I can relate. Even to that damned song which I also heard this summer for a 20 yr old who was killed when a tractor trailer hit him head on. Me and my husband spent a long drive back from Georgia the next day not sayin much. Didnt have to I dont reckon. We spoke alot w/o sayin a word.
But, that sure did make both of us thank our lucky stars that we were still alive. It sure does make ya appreciatte a whole lot to boot.
About that i love you thing....it means much more from somebody who dont say it alot than from somebody who says it all the time. It did from my Pop fore he passed away. I'll never fergit it as long as I draw breath...I can promise you that.

On a better note, I hope to see more posts from ya in the future. May God give you and your family strength.

[fabsroman]

Lilred,

Larry's post was from April 2006, over a year and a half ago, so don't get your hopes up about him posting some more any time soon. However, I do hope he continues to post like he used to.

[BILLY D.]

Originally posted by fabsroman
Lilred,

Larry's post was from April 2006, over a year and a half ago, so don't get your hopes up about him posting some more any time soon. However, I do hope he continues to post like he used to.

Fabs

Nice move EX-LAX.

[Lilred]

rotflmao....
what a goober! I seen it when i hit the view new posts button and when i seen his name, i automatically replied.
ah well...too bad he aint postin, he was cool to talk to.
thanks fabs, you got me back fer the church sign thread

[fabsroman]

I had forgotten about that church sign thread. You got me pretty good on that one. In fact, so good that I am trying my best not to laugh out loud with everybody asleep in the house.

[Contender]

I'm just over 60 years old and am becoming somewhat of a softie myself. I was in moose hunting camp this fall and I turned to my buddy and said "I really consider you a good friend and I'm glad to have known you for over 30 years". As this came out of the blue he stopped fleshing the moose skull and looked and me with a surprised look and said "I consider you a good friend too". This is pretty mushy stuff for a couple of old farts like us. Our first moose hunt together was on the Yukon River in 1974 and a lot of water has gone down that river since then.
I have lost several friends in the past few years and I was so busy with my life that we didn't get together too often. I wish that I had done more with them while I could have as I realize now how much a good friend means.