Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?

[Valigator]

QUESTION: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

DR. PHIL:

The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must
first deal with the problem on THIS side of the road before it goes
after the problem on the OTHER SIDE of the road. What we need to do is
help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his CURRENT
problems before adding NEW problems.

OPRAH:

Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he
wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn
from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to
give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and
not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

NANCY PELOSI:

We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is
either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:

Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image
of the chicken crossing the road.

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY:

Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!
It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's
intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:

That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his
eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:

No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.


DR SEUSS:

Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been
told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:

To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL:

Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in
front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's
why
they call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And
if
you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott
all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media
whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That
chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as
that.

GRANDPA:

In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told
us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:

Isn't that inter-westing? In a few moments, we will be l wistening to
the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming stowry of how it
experienced a sewious case of mowlting, and went on to accomplish its
wife wong dweam of cwossing the woad.

JOHN LENNON:

Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

ARISTOTLE:

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES:

I have just released eChicken2005, which will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new
platform is much more stable and will never cra..#@^( C \ .... Reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:

Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the
chicken?

BILL CLINTON:

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of
chicken?
AL GORE:

I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:

Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY:

Where's my gun?

[Riposte1]

Very good. I always thought it was to show the 'possums that it actually could be done :

Riposte

[Jack]

[skeet]

Riposte1 has the correct and only answer!!

[huntinbuddy]

well that right there is very funny but like the other person said to teach the possums how to do it...well im from wyoming originally and last summer it seemed like on a 20 mile stretch of road you could easily see about 150 dead rabbits so maybe all them rabbits could take lessons from the chickens

[Gunslingergirl]

I'm thinking the chickens should start a road crossing school. In my part of the woods he could teach the raccoons and the deer and the squirrels how to cross.

A lot of those animals really need lessons.

GSG

[jon lynn]

GRANDPA:

In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told
us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.



CLASSIC

[Jim_Cali]

Excellent.

[Boarhunter]

Is Barbara Walters related to Elmer Fudd?

[wrenchman]

he herd there was a b.b.q

["yote"]

Q; Why did the chicken cross the road?

A; To show the raccoons that it could be done !!!