I Need You Guy's Opinion

[rickjordan]

This is going to be a very long winded post so please bear with me. I need some insight on something that happened yesterday and really has me mad and upset. About ten years ago, my father asked me what I wanted of his when he passed away. I answered that I wanted his guns, his boat and his fishing stuff. Yesterday, my father called me and told me he has to sell his guns and his boat to pay off some debt he has. He wanted to know if I wanted to buy the Browning Medallion A-bolt 3006 that was going to be mine anyway. I was shocked- I was angry, upset and honestly felt betrayed! I also felt kind of like a grave robber since my Dad is very much alive and will be for quite a while I hope. I had visions of having that gun and hunting with it- I have hunted with it a lot over the years and I had visions of passing that gun on to my son one day and him also passing it on. It is a beautiful gun and shoots incredibly well! Now, my question is am I making too much of a simple gun? I will always look at that gun as my Dad's gun and it hold special meaning to me since we got it for him Christmas years ago. Honestly, I love that gun. I know I will come up with the money because that gun will never be somebody else's gun. What do you guys think of all this and am I making too much of this? Thanks

[captain2k_ca]

yup, a bit to much I think...I see where you are coming from, but your dad does still own that stuff...and seeing as how he is still alive and well(For which you should be VERY grateful.....my dad isnt so well)

At least he offered that gun to you first....what if he had just sold it without asking if you want it? Its his right to do that as the owner.......

Bills gotta be paid, be happy that you have the opportunity to help him out!

[BILLY D.]

This is one of those situations thats hurtful. Like the captain said they are still his and he can do what he wants technically.

Howsomever it is a kind of dirty trick to ask what you wanted and then start bartering it off.

Enough said, I'm not sticking my nose in any further. Hope you can get it all resolved.

Best wishes, Bill

[Dan Morris]

Thougtht, he may be in such a way he is trying not to leave a bunch of bills hanging. Sad but he probable has his reasons....known onlt to him!
Dan

[rattus58]

Its obvious that your Dad needs the money.. Cmon.. Loan you dad the money, buy the gun from your dad, gift your dad the money.... have your dad sell the house instead of the guns and stuff and move in with you... that is what we did with my dad.

However... it sounds like your dad does not like to be in debt. I applaud your dad for that considering all the dead beats around. You should be proud of your dad.. and TALK TO YOU DAD... fer crying out loud.... its him, not us you need to be discussin this with and you have, by the way... in MY OPINION... no reason to be gettin steamed.

You are his son... go be one.

Aloha..

[rickjordan]

I hear what you are saying but there is more to it than that- you don't know who he owes and why! He is addicted to gambling and he lost all the money he was supposed to pay the IRS with! That is why I am so pissed and won't lend him the money! There is no way I wouldn't lend him the money if he needed! I am just getting sick of bailing him out all the time!

[Rocky Raab]

Rick, this might sound harsh, but I think you're just out of luck.

If he has trouble with the IRS and loan sharks/gamblers, your Dad is toast. Neither of those groups ever gives up.

I'm afraid all that stuff is gone - one way or another.

[L. Cooper]

Then you'll have to stop.

Protecting someone from the consequences of their own actions seldom changes behavior.

You will have to also give up the anger at losing your "inheritance". You can't inherit anything until the person is dead, and until that time the stuff is yours in no way whatsoever. Many families have been damaged by heirs thinking possessively about parental assets. That kind of thinking will only make your father's situation worse since your anger will become another problem for him. Fortunately for my family, our parents had almost nothing valuable enough to make any of us wish they would hurry up and die so we could inherit it all.

Talk to some addictions councellors. Get him and the rest of the family some qualified help. People on this forum often display genuine compassion and effort to help many situations, but it is not a proper place to find solutions to such difficult problems.

[M.T. Pockets]

Rick, I feel your pain and I'm sorry for the situation you're in.

Family business is never easy. I can understand your position, money aside, it hurts to be "promised" something and then have it go somewhere else. I've been there and so have a lot of other people.

I just try to keep telling myself that the only thing that matters is people, the rest is just property.

This is me personally now. I wouldn't buy it. My parents have offered to sell me their things like guns, boats & campers over the years and I tell them "no thank you, I don't need it and you can maybe get more from someone else". If you have to buy an heirloom, then it's no longer an heirloom.

[skb2706]

Very likely that with time your father could very well change his mind. If not ...learn from it and teach your children to be the way you wished your father was. Start your own collection of heirlooms.

My son and I don't have "his guns" and "my guns"....we have "our guns". Someday when they throw me in the hole they will be "his guns". Until such time as he has his own kids...then they will be back to "our guns".

Its a family tradition at my house.

I currently find myself using more and more of the guns I bought to fit him. They tend to be smaller, thus lighter....light is good. He is young and he can carry those heavy magnum types.....

PS Brutal honesty here. It is very unlikely that the 'going selling price' of a Browning Medallion will cover the tax burden anyway.

If my father would have suggested I 'buy' one of his guns from him... I would be forced to play the "throw it in the box with him" card.

[Tall Shadow]

I can not know, nor can any of us, exactly what you are going through with your dad and his troubles.....But, I do know the effect of having the "Seemingly meaningless" possessions of your Father be lost forever. I never had the opportunity to have much of what was my fathers, nor did my wife.....Now we never will.

If you buy the gun(s), and decide later that it (they) were not worth the price, you can still sell them then....If you miss this chance, they will be gone forever......

Just a thought.

Tall Shadow

[Gunslingergirl]

If it is an item that means something to you, and you can use it and not feel resentful then buy it. That way it becomes your gun which you can hand down to your child. Possessions that have family history do mean something.

If it would just be a reminder of bad feelings and sadness, than don't buy it. I agree with what others on this thread have said, buy a new gun you can share with your son that will become his when you pass on, and then go out and use it with him so it will have good memories attached to it. In the end it isn't about the possessions themselves, its about the memories they call up.

GSG

[rickjordan]

Very good points- I have plenty of guns of my own and buy guns all the time- it is simply the fact that the Browning is and always will be HIS gun. I also don't want him to die so I can have the gun- I hope he lives another 50 years! I liked his assurance that the gun would be mine some day- that is it.

[TreeDoc]

Simple.

Put the cash in his hand and the gun in your safe. Know it's safe in your possession.

What he does with the money you exchanged for the piece is not your business, only his.

[BILLY D.]

Indian Gambling Casinos= Sitting Bulls revenge for Wounded Knee.

Bill