Military dependent benifits

[jon lynn]

I am not proud at all, but I have a family member on active duty, who decided he doesn't want to be married any more, and told his wife (who is 7 months pregnant with the second child) to 'go home' to her parents.

He is only offering her $300 a month to live. I have been out too long to know the regulations, but what is she entitled to? I think she get's all his BHA doesn't she?

I already know he needs his butt whoped real good, but that is an issue for later.

How can I find what this poor girl is entitled to, from him?

[jon lynn]

By the way, the girl (his wife) worships the ground he walks on, she's not a tart or a materialistic cow or anything. She was very house proud, never a mess, and the son they have now, is her #1 priority.

He just decided he can't be a 'one woman man' I think it is PTSS, but he refuses to go to get help. And while I can't help him right now, I want to help her, she is a good girl, mom and wife.

[BILLY D.]

Jon

Base legal office should be able to help.

That lady ain't gonna do a whole lot of living on $300 a month.

Last I heard you can't just throw your dependants out the front door and say I'm giving you this much and thats it. She is going to have to take legal action and if they are overseas she may be SOL. Without a mouthpiece she might not accomplish much either.

Somebody needs to kick that young man in the crotch and wake his sorry a$$ up.

Another avenue for her is to talk to his First Sergeant. There are a lot of legal ramifications I know absolutely nothing about. After studying the situation the First Stud may threaten a wall to wall conference with him.

That tactic could become counter productive if he starts slapping the girl around.

If I were her I'd definitely talk to the First Shirt and legal office.

Sorry I can't help much. I have not come up against this problem in 27 years of service.

Best wishes, Bill

[gumpokc]

I agree with Billy, speak with the soldiers first sgt/CO, then legal services on base.

it sounds like what he is trying to do (this sound like what one of the guys i knew in service did) is he offers her a small amount to "go home" then he turns around and tells everyone "she left me".

Once she isnt around, it's real hard for her to do anything on the local level, and who is the soldiers chain of command goign to believe, the soldier? or some chick "who ran off and left him and took his kids"?

and BTW Jon, this guy doesnt have PTSS or PTSD, he has SNBW "somebody needs a buttwhoopin".
He's got a wild hair up his butt plain and simple.

[Dom]

Joh, I also agree w/Billy & gumpokc she should go to base legal (and if still @ unit Top). As far as I know it's also BAQ as a minimum, but not sure if you have to have legal documents, i.e., separation agreement/divorce before it's mandatory.

Actually sorry to hear that, the military is really tough on young families, and old alike! Waidmannsheil, Dom.

[Tater]

If he's in the Air Force get a hold of the 1st Sgt and he'll take care of it PDQ if he's worth his diamond. I'm not sure of the equal position in the other services but the CO would be a good place to start. Even if they aren't divorced he is still financially responsible for his family and that's in the UCMJ. If he just kicks her to the curb and cuts off all support it's a Court Martial offense, Article 15 at the least. He definitely doesn't want to screw around on this.

[jon lynn]

She promised she would call the CO & 1SG tommorow. She couldn't reach the chaplin, with today being Labor Day. The poor girl feels like she is betraying him for doing this!

He is a black hat at Benning. I was (well still am) damned proud of him, 4 Iraq tours in 5 years, he was even in the oridinal invasion.

After coming back from that crap FOUR TIMES, he should be greatful he came back with out a scratch, and to a a loyal wife and an very active healthy playful son, some vetrans came home to find their spouses were less than keeping the faith, male and female!

I do thank you all for your input, I wanted to make sure I wasn't butting in, like my wife claimed I am doing..................all the way from Germany

[BILLY D.]

Originally posted by jon lynn
She promised she would call the CO & 1SG tommorow. She couldn't reach the chaplin, with today being Labor Day. The poor girl feels like she is betraying him for doing this!

He is a black hat at Benning. I was (well still am) damned proud of him, 4 Iraq tours in 5 years, he was even in the oridinal invasion.

After coming back from that crap FOUR TIMES, he should be greatful he came back with out a scratch, and to a a loyal wife and an very active healthy playful son, some vetrans came home to find their spouses were less than keeping the faith, male and female!

I do thank you all for your input, I wanted to make sure I wasn't butting in, like my wife claimed I am doing..................all the way from Germany

Jon

When I was serving tours in 'nam I thought I had it made compared to my wife.

There she was with the youngins', a house and home to keep functioning, car repairs etc. I admired her at the time. She had more 00's than some guys I knew.

She truly was "the Wind Beneath My Wings". I considered myself the luckiest man on earth to have her as my wife. The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. Truer words were never spoken.

I'm not defending the young man but we should look at this from another angle. Perhaps he feels he is being a drag on her and wants to cut her loose so she can have a better life than what he is giving her presently.

How do we find this out? Flat out ask him and try to reason with him. He isn't going to be in his present situation forever. Hows he going to feel in a few years when he realizes he cut loose a great partner? He might regret it the rest of his life.

This is a real sticky wicket.

Best wishes, Bill

[Rapier]

Jon,
The truth is that many young GIs and some older ones, loose track of the real world in the bubble they live in on base.

Screw the 1st shirt and CO. Go get the nastiest attorney in town, ask anyone, they will know who is the bull dog in town. Let the attorney "explain it" to the young man. Around here he is talking about 110% of his pay plus his retirement based on her years of service. With two kids and a non working wife, he can not afford a divorce, believe me.

He is a real dumb arse if he thinks he can waltz off without a nick. She can have his nads in a box and his juglar cut, all at the same time. He will just barely remember a new car and money to spend.
Best,
Ed

[jon lynn]

She can have his nads in a box and his juglar cut, all at the same time.

Now that is what I am looking for, she is in Huston with her family, and is ready to have that baby at any time, but as soon as he is born I will get her back on this.

Thanks for all your in put..................Jon